22 Latest Christmas cracker jokes

What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water

Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A: A Christmas Quacker!

Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
A: Lost

Q: Why is the government like ancient Bethlehem?
A: It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

Q: Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?
A: Carbon footprints

Q: Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
A: Dancer!

Q: What do you get if you put a bell on a skunk?
A: Jingle smells

Q: Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
A: They were two deer.

Q: What athlete is warmest in winter?
A: A long jumper!

Q: What happens to elves when they are naughty?
A: Santa gives them the sack!

Q: What do you call a deer who can’t see?
A: No eye-deer!

Q: What is the best Christmas present?
A: A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

Q: How does Christmas Day end?
A: With the letter Y!

Q: What do you call Father Christmas on the beach?
A: Sandy Claus!

Q: Who delivers presents to cats?
A: Santa Paws!

Q: What says Oh Oh Oh?
A: Santa walking backwards!

Q: Why can’t Christmas trees knit?
A: Because they always drop their needles!

Q:How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
A: On the dark side!

Q: What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
A: Santa going through a revolving door!

Q: What did the sea Say to Santa?
A: Nothing! It just waved!

Q: What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
A: Santa Paws!

Q: What do you get if Santa forgets to wear his undercrackers?
A: St Nickerless

What do you think?

The TV channel Gold’s eighth annual ranking, which is chosen by a panel chaired by the comedy critic Bruce Dessau, was put to 2,000 UK voters. Check out top 20 jokes.

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