Christmas Joke – The postman is making his usual rounds the week of Christmas

The postman is making his usual rounds the week of Christmas. He walks up to the front door of a house to leave a package and the door opens just as he walks up. A beautiful woman opens the door and invites him in for lunch, “for all you do all year long.” It’s about his time for a lunch break so he says yes.

The woman has laid out a wonderful meal and she sits with him asking him about his day as he eats it. As he’s standing up about to pick up his mailbag, she says, “Wait a minute, please come upstairs.” She leads him up the stairs and his jaw drops as she does a seductive striptease. He’s too shocked to say anything and the woman is too beautiful for him to turn her down. She leads him to the bed and they have amazing sex.

Afterward, the mailman stumbles down the stairs in a daze, barely able to walk and late for his route. Just as he’s closing the front door, the woman runs down the stairs and says, “Wait! I almost forgot!” and hands him a dollar, closing the door behind him.

The mailman stands on the porch for a few minutes and finally, he can’t stand it. He knocks on the door and the woman answers with a bright smile and says, “Yes?” “Ma’am, I appreciate everything you’ve done, it was all amazing, but I have to ask, what was the dollar for?”

“Well, my husband and I were talking about what gift to give everyone and I said, What about the mailman?” He said, “Fuck ’em, give him a dollar.” “Lunch was my idea!”

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Christmas Joke – A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas