Vampire Jokes

What do you call a vaping vampire?

Vlad the Inhaler.

A man was drinking the blood of a vampire.

He said, “Hmm, irony.”

Why don’t vampires bet on horses?

They can’t handle the stakes.

To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart.

It sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
Why are vampires so impulsive?

They never reflect on things.

I’ve set up a company to rid people of vampires.

I’m the main stakeholder.

Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?

They don’t like steak.

When does an idea kill a vampire?

When it dawns on them.

What kind of boat do vampires like?

Blood vessels.

How do you kill a vegan vampire?

With a steak to the heart.

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test.

Which fruit is a vampire’s favorite?

A neck-tarine.

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